7 Things We Wish Parents Did to Help High Schoolers Get College-Ready

The college admissions process has grown more challenging in recent years, not only because of rising expectations from colleges, but also because of how families approach it. At Essential College Coaches, we have spent over 15 years guiding students and parents, and we have noticed a clear pattern: when parents step back from certain tough but necessary conversations, it can unintentionally hold their teen back. Avoiding discomfort, shielding kids too much, or focusing solely on short-term happiness may feel protective, but it often comes at the cost of long-term growth and readiness for college.

Here are the things we ask our parents to do to support their student in becoming college-ready:

1. Stop Protecting Them from Discomfort.

College is hard. Life is harder. Shielding teens from stress, rejection, or failure during high school may feel compassionate, but it can breed insecure, underprepared students. If a 17-year-old cannot handle writing college essays, taking the SAT, or managing academic pressures, how will they function in a college setting where no one is holding their hand?

Hard truth: The goal is not to keep your kid from feeling uncomfortable; it is to teach them how to move beyond the discomfort by developing strong study and time management skills, which will serve them for the rest of their life.

2. Get Involved. You are the Last Line of Defense.

Too many parents think counselors, teachers, or their student will just figure it all out. That is wishful thinking. Most high school students are not developmentally ready to manage the complexity of their academic studies, sports, and outside activities without parental guidance. As juniors and seniors, their class rigor gets harder; they should be doing college research, preparing for standardized testing, and developing a college and application strategy, all of which need to be guided by you.

You don’t need to micromanage. But you do need to stay engaged. Start early. Use the tools that your student's high school provides (Blackboard, Canvas, etc) to help track assignments and grades to make sure they are on track. You can help them resolve problems proactively instead of waiting for the end of the semester when the grades cannot be saved. Study skills, time management, and self-advocacy are competencies your child builds over time with guidance. Our most successful students have parents who are consistently engaged.

3. Value Academic Effort Over Emotions.

There’s a growing trend where students avoid the SAT or drop rigorous classes because it is “too stressful.” In the past few years, many parents have supported and justified this in the name of good mental health. However, in our decades of experience, we have found that quite the opposite is true. Students who avoid all stress do not build resilience, nor do they build hope or a belief in their abilities and competencies. As we all know, our most significant wins often come after our biggest failures.

Eliminating pressure is not the answer to supporting your teen’s emotional health. Instead, teach them how to manage and identify a healthy level of stress and rise up to meet challenges worth the extra pressure and effort.

4. Push Back Against Mediocrity.

High school prepares students for college and the rest of their lives. They are not ready for college if they have not learned how to work hard, meet expectations promptly, and push past setbacks. As college consultants, the most significant and most alarming trend we have seen in the past 5 years is chronic underperformance.  Parents tell us, “My child is just not a good test taker,” or “that class seemed too stressful.” We have a very different take; we think every student has unlimited potential, and if they never test their limits, it could harm their belief in themselves and their resilience.

Expect Great things. Celebrate growth. Learn from the failures. Prepare your kids to reach for the stars, knowing the risk and anticipating some falls, but teaching them to get up and keep moving forward.

5. Take College Seriously Before It’s Too Late.

Every year, we are approached by families trying to start the college process in the middle of senior year. By then, it’s too late to fix low grades, build a persuasive activities list, investigate academic interests and possible careers, do meaningful community service, or boost test scores. A hastily written essay or hail Mary application won’t change your four-year record. Finding the right-fit college that will fully support your student's goals takes both time and planning.

College planning is a long game. At Essential College Coaches, we believe in starting early; freshman year is the time to begin the process, not senior year. Good communication creates good outcomes, so talk about college plans as a family and make one that is right for your student.

6. Focus on Fit, Not Prestige

The right-fit college may not be the highest-ranked one, or your Alma mater, or even where most of the kids are applying. It is the college where your student will be academically challenged, have great social interactions, find internships, travel abroad, and, most importantly, where they can grow into adulthood doing their best work. Parents who understand how vital identifying the right-fit college is will unlock a broader range of wonderful possibilities.

7. Be Open About Finances.

Have early and honest conversations about your family’s college budget. Explore merit aid options, and use the Net Price Calculator, found on every college’s website, to determine the realistic cost of attendance for your family. If a school is financially out of reach, search for a similar one with a lower price tag that still meets your long-term goals. This is another reason why college visits are so important;  you cannot fall in love with a campus you have never set foot on.

Last Word

The real purpose of college readiness isn’t just to get your student into a college; it is to ensure that they will thrive once they arrive. A student who comes to campus with maturity, resilience, academic stamina, and personal responsibility will, in fact, thrive!

Parents, these qualities are built at home, so keep teaching your student how to meet expectations, overcome challenges, and continue to expect great things from their life.

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